Who said that trouble ticketing systems must be boring? A few days ago, a colleague in Poland asked for headphones in a rather original way, giving birth to a very interesting exchange with a sysadmin. …My colleague's request was:
In order to my very big will
to chat a lot and comfortably feel
I'm going to make a brave request
And send you on a heroic quest
To order headphones that I could use
That are comfortable and not too… loose?
So please, oh admins, I beg you kindly
because I can't do it by myself (sadly)
When you find enough free time
Order for me this little one: (URL)
Sysadmins like new challenges, poetry is no exception:
For making orders, I have to say,
Monday is our usual day.
I asked our vendor to check the price,
It's below 75 pln – so nice.
I've made the order, got confirmation,
Now just wait for a delivery notification.
Sadly I have no ETA yet,
but soon you'll get your desired set.
I hope it'll serve you well
— Bastard Operator From Hell
I have to say that my colleague was indeed satisfied with the answer:
The things are going – it's good to see,
because such progress is satisfying me.
I'm a patient man, so I will wait,
for ordered stuff to arrive at some date.
Thank you so much – now it's all I say,
and I wish you, dear admins, a very nice day!
One day, finally the headphones arrive:
"Come and get it" – I usually say,
but this time – it just feels wrong this way.
So I'll write a poem, a very short one,
Just to get this particular task done:
«Because sysadmins have compleeted their quest,
in our office , your're a welcome guest.
Now you can collect your precious prize,
I hope it's of proper shape and size.
Just use it wisely, for Opera's glory,
not for games and porn – sorry 😉 »
I think it concludes this epic task,
how was it completed? Better don't ask.
It was time for the epilogue:
"Headphones request" (epilogue)
How thankful I am, words cannot describe!
I've got new headphones even without a bribe!
Oh, mighty sysadmins, I'm so proud of you
the quest was dangerous and so risky too!
Hazardous adventures, blood-drinking wholesalers,
tax-stealing offices and whips of retailers!
You've conquered them all, let everyone know,
that hope for a mankind is not lost at all!
I don't ask for story, of how you've achieved it,
I know it was so epic – no-one will believe it!
So now time has come to get my sweet prize,
and thank you a lot for your sacrifice!
I promise to use it wisely and proudly,
plug it precisely not to damage it badly,
to have it for years in a very good form,
even when watching a lot of weird porn.
Bards will be singing, prophets will retire
evil foes will hate you, women will admire,
Tale has reached the end – all stories have to,
but history will never forget about you!
Your devoted user,